Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Ultimate Designer Drug

By Julie Rahm

Illegal drug use hasn’t subsided much over the years. Awareness education has been intended to reduce the demand. And, law enforcement has intended to reduce the supply. But, despite our efforts, illegal drug use is still a prevalent part of our society. Any teenager can attest to the availability of illegal drugs. Even the variety can be difficult to comprehend. Recently, some students were prosecuted for taking cat tranquilizers stolen from a veterinary clinic! As if abuse of illegal drugs isn’t enough, abuse of legal prescription drugs adds to the problem.

My husband John and I don’t abuse drugs. But, that doesn’t stop John from having fun at the pharmacy. While waiting in line for a prescription, he routinely tries to get a “custom” pill from the pharmacist. His usual request is a concoction of Grecian Formula for gray hair, Rogaine for more hair, Prozac for his attitude, Coumadin for his heart, Lipitor for high cholesterol, Vicodin for aches and Viagra for you know what! Most of the pharmacists now recognize John and look forward to his banter. Of course, all can see he is joking. But, unknown to most, his joke is deliberate and calculated. He intends to lift the spirits of those around him. Those needing prescriptions are often hurting. John makes everyone laugh and improves their day. Once, I was mortified when John asked an elderly man in his 80s if he wanted to share some Viagra! The gentlemen replied indeed it was difficult keeping up with both a wife and girlfriend but he didn’t need it yet. I almost fell down laughing. I asked John why he does this at the pharmacy. He replied, “I took my own pill today.” I took the bait and asked for clarification. His answer was brilliant. He contends the most powerful pill in the world is the “Give-a-damn” pill. When people take their “Give-a-damn” pills, great things happen. Spirits are lifted at the pharmacy and men get to walk on the moon. There is not a more powerful narcotic than the “Give-a-damn” pill. The effects from Cocaine and Heroine pale in comparison to the results of a few “Give-a Damn” pills. They are the ultimate designer drug. Because someone gave a damn, life on this planet improves. So my message this week is to keep taking those “Give-a-damn” pills and there will be no limit to your achievements! But, if you find yourself out of “Give-a-damn” pills, my metaphorical tools can help. The tilt of your level gives you warning that your attitude is slipping. The flashlight points to the cause. Use the pliers to pluck out those negative thoughts and feelings. The hammer rebuilds a good mental framework. And finally, the measuring tape helps you record your progress back to a renewed and healthier mindset.

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