Sunday, March 6, 2011

Bouncing Back

By Julie Rahm

Recently, my friend’s mother and husband died in the same month. Her husband was her “soul mate”. And, she had taken care of her mother every day for five years. My friend’s life had taken a horrible turn. And yet, she demonstrated strength and resilience as she preserved her own well being. How? She started with a “bounce back” mindset. She was “rubber, not glue”. What a great concept. It works whether you suffer from the pain of a job loss, a relationship loss, a health loss, a financial loss, or the death of a loved one. So, let’s get into my Mindset Mechanic Tool Kit for a bounce-back mindset tune-up that anyone who suffers a loss can use.

Reach into the tool kit for the metaphorical level. The level indicates when you are out of balance from negative thoughts and emotions. Nothing tilts your level like an unexpected, life-changing loss. The things that will never be create a swirl of emotions and fears. Be kind to yourself on this new journey. Use the metaphorical flashlight to spotlight the multitude of negative thoughts in your mind. Perhaps you are not allowing yourself to grieve. Or, you could be reliving the past and the details of your loss, over and over. Or, you might be recreating the past with thoughts that begin with “If only”. Thoughts are the key, because your thoughts affect the way you feel. The way you feel affects the way you act. And, the way you act drives the results you get. Once you identify your negative thoughts, use the metaphorical pliers to pluck them out one by one. Write down your thoughts in a journal. In doing so, the negative thoughts leave your mind and you can handle them one at a time.

Handle negative thoughts with the metaphorical hammer. Hammer in the framework for replacing negative thoughts with believable thoughts that make you feel better. Hammer in knowing that there is hope and help as you bounce back. Hammer in forgiveness for yourself and others. Hammer in a vision for a new future. Then, use the metaphorical screwdriver to strengthen connections with supportive family and friends.

Gifts and lessons can be found in every loss. Personally, I once found myself leaving a job before I was ready. The job was just comfortable enough to keep me from venturing out and expressing my unique creativity. Being free from the job became a wonderful gift. Sometimes the Universe orchestrates a loss when we are living too safely. When we are not being the people we were born to be, maximizing our natural gifts, we may receive a supernatural kick in the pants. The key is to “be rubber, not glue” and bounce back with grace.

Learn more about the Mindset Mechanic and her tool kit online at and on the radio Saturdays at 8PM and Sundays at 5PM on FM107.1 WTKF/AM1240 WJNC and

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