Thursday, January 27, 2011

A Valentine’s Day Romance Tune-Up

By Julie Rahm

What word comes to mind as you think about Valentine’s Day? Love is the number one response. Romance and chocolate are close seconds. When I ask men, they laugh and say “extortion”, a la Jay Leno. Whatever comes to mind, your thoughts about Valentine’s Day reveal the reality of your relationship. Is it time for a romance tune-up? If so, let’s get into the Mindset Mechanic Tool Kit and get to it.

To rekindle romance, it takes a peak performance mindset. A peak performance mindset means mastering your mind, body, productivity, and influence. Yes, the mindset that drives business success can also create romantic success!

Master your mind      Use the metaphorical level to reveal whether positive or negative thoughts are ruling your relationship. Your thoughts affect the way you feel. The way you feel affects the way you act. And the way you act affects the results you get. A positive, romantic relationship starts with positive thoughts. When the level is tilting from the weight of negative thoughts, use the metaphorical pliers to pluck the thoughts from your mind. If you are holding onto past negative thoughts, it is time to pluck them out and let them go! Then, hammer in believable better-feeling thoughts until the level is in balance again. Start by thinking of your partner’s positive attributes.

Master your body      Without a healthy body you will not have the energy you deserve and will be too fatigued to enjoy your partner! The physical body is home for your mind and spirit. Are you a caretaker or a slumlord? Use the metaphorical flashlight to examine the thoughts you have about your health. Do you take responsibility for your weight, for eating healthy foods, and for exercising regularly? If not, use the metaphorical hammer and hammer in the thought that nothing else is more important than maintaining a healthy, vibrant body.

Master your productivity      In the context of personal relationships, productivity means asking yourself each day, “Where does this day fit into the big picture”? Use the metaphorical plumb line to point to what actions you need to take each day to advance your relationship forward.

Master your influence       Mastering influence means mastering communication skills. Use the metaphorical flashlight to examine your thoughts about communicating. Do you need to be right? If so, use the metaphorical pliers to pluck out that thought. Nothing impedes romance like a partner’s need to be right! And, the person who is busy being right is not listening. Use the metaphorical hammer to hammer in a balance between talking and listening. Use the pliers to pluck out thoughts of criticism and judgment. Then, hammer in thoughts of kindness as you communicate with each other.

A romance tune-up is as simple as applying a peak performance mindset to personal relationships. Master your mind, body, productivity and influence with your partner and feel the heat rise. Your re-kindled romance will be ablaze with passion!

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