Friday, September 24, 2010

The First Secret to Money Flowing Easily and Frequently to You

By Julie Rahm
Have you ever noticed that when you have prosperity people say things to you like “you’re lucky” or “you’re blessed”? Sometimes people actually accuse God of punishing them when they are not prosperous. The reality is that people who prosper have the mindset for prosperity. They pay attention to their relationships with people and money.

How are your relationships? Consider your answers to the following questions:

Does the energy you put into a relationship affect the relationship?

If you put your happiness in the hands of someone else, what might happen?

If you doubt someone, what might happen?

If you tell someone they are not enough, what might happen?

Do you ever tell yourself you are not enough? We say things to ourselves that we would never say in a relationship with others.

If you tell someone they let you down, what might happen? Is it too much to heal? What if you say that to yourself?

If you tell someone they are the key to your most awful stress, what might happen?

What if you say that to yourself?

Now think about all of those questions as they relate to your relationship with money. Money is an energy in this world. It is a currency and it could run away from you if you put your happiness in it, or if you doubt it, or if you say it is not enough. If you do not care about money you are not going to have any money. What you put out to the world energetically comes back to you. Is that ever not true? No! Money is a reflection of the energy you put out to the world. Your relationship with money is very important, because it is a regular gauge to the energy you are transmitting.

To improve your energetic transmissions, learn to give and receive. How much of what you receive is because of another person, and how much is because of you? I contend that 100-percent of what we receive is because of us and what we give and transmit, even though it is difficult to prove. We do not see a one-to-one correlation to what we give and receive, because giving and receiving are an energy. We are not talking about our minds or our egos. If I want to give, I do it without expecting anything in return. That way no one feels like they owe me and my relationships are not impaired.

Now think about this. What attracts you to people that keeps you in relationships with them? Think about your answer in your relationship with money. What emotions are you attributing or transmitting toward money? What if you completely deny love in a relationship? What if you place blame on the other person? What will the relationship give you?

Again, money is a flow of energy, a currency. Pretend you do not need it and it will go to someone who does.

What if you hold onto a relationship too tightly? You choke it off. The same is true with money.

Work on your relationship with yourself and with life in the little things and you will change your energetic transmissions to attract the relationships and money you desire. Change your perspective. When your metaphorical level indicates you are out of balance in your relationship with money, get out your metaphorical flashlight. Use your flashlight to shine light into the darkest corners of your mind to discover the root cause of why you are out of balance. Use the logic of your answers to all of the questions above along with your intuition. Once you identify the thoughts, fears or emotions that are tilting your level, use your metaphorical pliers to pluck them out one by one. Think of the earliest time in your life when you had the same thoughts or felt the same fears or emotions. What was happening? Who was there with you? Use your metaphorical utility knife to cut the cord to the cumulative effects of all of your similar experiences and memories. What you are really doing is recognizing the truth about your thoughts and feelings while being aware of your body, mind and spirit. In doing so you are releasing the energy behind those thoughts and feelings so you feel better, more neutral to the experiences and memories.

Then, use your metaphorical hammer to hammer in your mindset for prosperity. Talk to money. Make paying your bills a special event. Pour yourself something you like to drink. Thank the electric company while you pay their bill. Thank them because they enable you to stay cool in the summer and warm in the winter, have light at night, cook meals, and hear music. Now of course you are happy to pay their bill!

Improve your relationship with money by thinking of the techniques you use to be better in relationships with people. Do you say sincere “thank yous” frequently? Appreciate the help money gives you. If money is a concern, then set everything else aside and focus on it 100-percent. Listen to it and honor it. Get help from a financial professional if you need it.

Now you know the first secret to prosperity – work on your relationship with money. Pay attention to your relationship with money every day. If you were money, would you stick around with you?

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Second Secret to Happy Relationships

By Julie Rahm

The second secret to happy relationships is simple. Most people just get it backwards. The secret is that people will help you get everything you want if you first give them what they need. The tricky parts are discovering what other people need, and being willing to provide it before your own desires are met.

As I coach corporate leaders I hear things like “I will give my people more praise when they show me some extra effort”. What if instead the leaders praised their people for something specific they were already doing well? At that point, we would take out my clients’ metaphorical tool kits and check their levels. They are surprised to find that they stay in balance when they offer praise first, and out of balance when they think their people have not yet done anything worthy of praise. With their pliers, we pluck out the thoughts that nothing praiseworthy has been done and that people will get lazy if they receive too much praise. And then we hammer in the mindset framework for success. When leaders find something to sincerely praise, they build trust with their people, morale and efficiency improve, and absenteeism is reduced.

The same secret applies to couples. As I coach couples I often hear statements like “I would bring my wife flowers if she would show me some affection;” or “I would show my husband more affection if he helped me around the house.” If that sounds like you, take out your metaphorical level. Are you out of balance? If so, shine your flashlight into the dark recesses of your mind and reveal the reason. Pluck out the negative thoughts and emotions you find. Remember, when you identify the real causes for your imbalance something changes and you feel better. Use your utility knife to cut the cord to all of the times you have been disappointed in this relationship and past relationships. Hammer in the mindset framework for success. When you focus on the other person rather than on yourself, you discover what that person needs most from you. When you give someone what they need, they will help you get what you want. It really is as simple as that.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The First Secret to Happy Relationships

By Julie Rahm

College football is my favorite sport to watch. I love to cheer for the Cornhuskers from my alma mater, the University of Nebraska – Lincoln. When Bo Pelini became their coach the team had just completed a 5 win – 7 loss season. But Pelini was unsympathetic and allowed no self-pity among the players. In fact, he calmly and directly told them such a season was unacceptable and did not reflect who they really were. I am paraphrasing, but that was the essence of his message, and that is the relationship secret. He saw the team for who they truly were, not as what their behavior made them appear to be. And, in a few short years the result has been rankings in the NCAA Top 10 and a team with great chemistry among the players.

How do you approach your relationships with your family and others? Do you feel sorry for them in tough times? How often do you feel emotions like anxiety, frustration, confusion, humiliation or anger because of their behavior? In almost every case you feel those emotions because the person did not meet your expectations. You hold the vision of the beautiful spiritual beings the people really are. And their behavior is incongruent with your vision. If you allow people to pull you down into their behavior being who they are, you feel negative emotions. The secret to remaining happy in your relationships is to hold onto your vision of the perfect spiritual beings people truly are.

How can you hold your vision when people’s behavior is so contrary to it? Perhaps a specific example would help. One of my clients is the mother of a tween-aged son whose behavior at school continues to get worse, and who is becoming more disrespectful of her every day. She allowed herself to be drawn into her son’s daily behavior and almost lost sight of who her son really is. We opened her metaphorical tool kit and got to work. Her metaphorical level showed her to be way off balance. Her metaphorical flashlight revealed that her son was not behaving like the beautiful spiritual being she knew him to be. Her mind was full of negative thoughts: “I’m failing as a mother”; “I’m afraid my son will hurt someone physically and end up in jail”; “I’m humiliated that other people know that I can’t get my son under control”; “It was a mistake to have children”. We took out her metaphorical pliers and plucked out the negative thoughts and emotions one by one. With her metaphorical utility knife we cut the cords to the cumulative effects of all the times she felt she was not good enough.

And then we hammered in the thought framework for a positive relationship with her son. We started with thoughts from Abraham/Esther Hicks. Abraham would say that the son’s purpose was to reveal what is wrong with the system of school to which we subject our children. The system wants conformity to rules, many of which smother the spirit. No matter what children do, it will never be enough for the system to show them acceptance and love for their uniqueness. Knowing he could not do enough, her son rebelled. We hammered understanding into my client’s thought framework. And we hammered in the vision of who she knew her son to be in his perfect spirit. It was my client’s job to hammer in that vision so clearly that nothing her son did could drag her away from it. By holding her clear vision, she was creating the space for her son to step into it, reconnecting his body with his spirit.

The only thing left to do was for my client to have a conversation with her son, which we practiced several times. She needed to tell her son that she loved him and who she saw him to be. And, no matter what behaviors he exhibited she would no longer allow herself stray from her vision of who he truly is. When she did so, she felt badly. Holding the vision enabled her to feel good. It would be up to her son whether or not he decided to step into the space she made for him.

As you might imagine, her son was blown away by the conversation. Gradually he became more respectful. Mother and son continue to make positive strides together.

You can create the same kind of positive changes in any relationship. The secret is strongly holding the space for people to be who they truly are by seeing them as fully integrated in body and spirit.
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