Monday, December 6, 2010

Being Excellent at Work

By Julie Rahm
Now more than ever we need to be people of excellence. We live in a society where mediocrity has become the norm. Many people do as little as they can to get by. They’re always looking for the easy way out. They simply go to work to pick up a paycheck. Then they wonder why they’re not promoted and why they don’t get raises. That’s because mediocrity is not rewarded, excellence is. Whatever we are doing, we need to do it to the best of our abilities. Whether you are a manager, a supervisor, an engineer, an accountant, on the line, a plumber, or a teacher – whatever you do, do your best work. You have excellence inside of you. It was put there by the Creator of Worlds. Set the standard for excellence in your work group. Other people may show up late. They may complain. They may cut corners. But don’t sink down to their level. Eventually their behavior will catch up with them. Maybe your metaphorical level is indicating you are out of balance because “everybody’s doing it.” That may be true. But, you’re not everybody. Hammer in the mindset framework to be the model employee your supervisor points to when he hires a new person. The employee about whom he says, “Watch that man.” Or, “Learn that woman’s habits.

Use your metaphorical screwdriver to connect your intention to do the right thing with your actions and results. When you do more than you have to, and do the right thing even when no one is watching, you get other people’s attention. They see your depth of character. They see your spirit of excellence. And you begin to have more influence and credibility. You might be thinking, “Julie, I’d love to do that, but you don’t know my boss. He’s hard to get along with.” Or, “The Company just doesn’t treat me right.” If that sounds like you, then you need a new perspective. You can do the right thing even if the wrong thing is happening around you, and even if you don’t agree with your boss or company policy. Consider that your purpose may be to bring light to your boss. You may be the only light he has in his life. And when you continue to do the right thing even if you feel mistreated, you don’t know what effect you’re having on your boss or your co-workers. Keep doing your good work knowing the quality of your work is a reflection on your character. Make excellence your norm. Because, your performance gives you a platform. People will begin to listen to you.

So here is your challenge. Whatever you do, get better at it. If you want to see doors open for you, do something on purpose to increase your skills. Develop a habit of looking for ways to grow. When you stop growing you become stagnant. The bottom line is this. Recent studies have shown that you reduce your chances of being unemployed if you stay positive, stay flexible, and keep growing. If you keep getting better at what you do, there will always be a place for you. Your skills will make room for you. All you have to do is choose excellence.

[Find The Mindset Mechanic on the radio at FM107.1WTKF/AM1240WJNC and via or on Find Julie online at]

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Gifts from the Heart that Don’t Cost a Penny – Your Mindset for Giving

By Julie Rahm

This year so many people do not have the money that they have previously enjoyed. The thought of buying holiday gifts brings the dread of sliding further into debt. If that sounds familiar, it is time to tune up your mindset for giving! Why? Because your thoughts affect the way you feel. The way you feel affects the way you act. And the way you act affects the results you get in your life. Tune up your mindset to create the holidays you want.

The first tool you need is your metaphorical level. Is your level tilting off balance with thoughts of buying gifts, wondering what your loved ones would like, and how you are going to pay for all of it? If so, take out your next tool, your metaphorical flashlight, and shine light into the dark recesses of your mind. Let your flashlight reveal the thoughts, fears, and emotions that are causing your level to tilt. Do you feel a sense of obligation or responsibility? Do you give gifts because you think you should? Are you afraid your loved ones will be disappointed and reject you if you do not give them expensive gifts? Are you afraid people will judge your level of success by the gifts you give? Everyone will have different reasons for their level tilting off balance.

Once your flashlight reveals the reason your level is tilting, take out your metaphorical pliers and pluck those thoughts, emotions, or fears out of your mind. Simply recognizing them releases their hold on you. Are you remembering past experiences or memories around gift-giving that feel badly? If so, take out your metaphorical utility knife and cut the cord to the past. Freeing yourself from the clutches of your memories enables you to deal with only what is happening now, which is a much easier task.

Now you are ready to use your metaphorical screwdriver to connect your intentions for prosperous holidays with your actions and results. Use your metaphorical hammer to hammer in your new mindset for giving. Giving comes from the heart. Giving has no strings attached. Give because you want to give, not because you are expecting a particular response in return. Once you give a gift, what happens to it is none of your business. The gift belongs to its recipient. People who understand giving receive gifts with gratitude. To those people, the gift itself is unimportant. What matters is you thought enough of them to give to them. The cost of the gift is of no consequence.

So what can you give that is meaningful and that does not cost a penny? Prosperity coach Teri Hawkins would suggest a note on a beautiful card. In the note, speak from the heart about how much that person means to you and why. Or, give the gift of a hug, a real hug that lasts beyond the normal “back patting and release”. Or, create a coupon book. What have your children or your spouse asked you to do that you have said no to over the past year? Make coupons to do those things in the coming year. And make the coupons redeemable any time. Coupons have the side benefit of making you a better parent or partner, because coupons make you keep your word.

Tune up your mindset for true giving and the pressure of gift giving is relieved. You are free to feel the joy of the reason for the season. May your holidays be filled with love and blessings.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Check Out My Newest (3rd!) Blog

I haven't forgotten this blog, nor will I. It is still my goal to post entries at least weekly.

However, I love to write for moms. And I decided to create a blog just for those posts. Here's what it's about and where to find it:
Intuitive parenting 101 - How to know reliably, 100% of the time if you are just worrying or if it's your intuition talking. Any mom can develop her intuition. It is a mental skill. Read this blog and learn why you know more about your child than your doctor.

If you haven't seen my blog at, I encourage you to check it out!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Gift of Neighbors

By Julie Rahm

Do you ever wish you did not have neighbors, or that the neighbors you have would move? Sometimes I look out into our backyard at the breathtaking view and think about how thankful I am for our home. Other times I look out to our side yard and see into the homes next door and think that I would like a home in the middle of 10 acres with plenty of privacy. The side-yard-view thought does not feel nearly as good as the backyard-view thought. The key to happiness is disciplining our thoughts so they bring good feelings. Metaphorical tool kit in hand, I began tuning up the side-yard-view thought.

First, my metaphorical level indicated that my mood was out of balance when I thought about our lack of privacy. I shined my metaphorical flashlight into the darkest corners of my mind to reveal what bothered me so much about privacy. Fear was the culprit. Fear of gossip, specifically. I plucked that fear out of my mind with my metaphorical pliers. Then, I hammered in better feeling thoughts by stacking the evidence of what is good about having neighbors.

The first thought I hammered in was how much I enjoy being outside with our dog, Tank, and watching him play with Eddy, the dog next door. Having a nice playmate for Tank so close by is a gift. And, I enjoy talking with our neighbors while the dogs play. They are lovely people. Before we both had dogs, our demanding schedules precluded us from getting together very often. Now we get fresh air and social time together, and Tank and Eddy get the dog time and exercise they need.

The next thought I hammered in was how nice it is to have nearby neighbors to call when I need help. Today, for instance, we had a chicken snake in our kitchen. John was out and I was home with Tank and Elvis Ann, our parrot. I knew the snake would not hurt me. And yet, I “chickened out” of trying to catch it. Our next door neighbors on both sides were away. So, I called Stan who lives three doors down. He came over right away, caught the snake in about 10 seconds, and was gone. If we had a home in the middle of 10 acres there is a good chance I would not even know our nearest neighbors. And, I would be left to my own devices when critters got in the house.

As I stacked the evidence of nearby neighbors being a gift, my desire for privacy diminished. Now I look at our side-yard-view as a blessing. Nearby homes mean we have nearby neighbors. And, we have the good fortune of having neighbors we like.

If neighbors are a negative in your life, get out your metaphorical tool kit and get to the source of why they trouble you. Hammer in better feeling thoughts about your neighbors by looking for evidence of what is good about them. Do they keep their yard tidy? Are they quiet? Talk to other people about their neighbors. Just like your problems, when you hear about other people’s neighbors you might be grateful for yours.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Bullying and Beliefs

By Julie Rahm

If you have read my work at all, you know my mantra: When you get to the source of what is really troubling you, you feel relief. If you do not feel relief, you have not found the source. And, if you insist you have found the source when you really have not, you create a problem for yourself where you previously did not have one.

Sometimes you find the source of what is troubling you when you least expect it, and it happens in the blink of an eye. Sometimes it happens while you are helping someone else with their problem. Sometimes you even forget that something is troubling you. That is what happened to me last week.

I was co-coaching a session of Girls on the Run and talking with one of the third grade girls as we ran laps. Suddenly the conversation turned to her revealing two instances when she had been bullied that week – one on the bus, one in the classroom. My metaphorical level tipped dramatically as my heart broke for that precious girl. I took out my metaphorical tool kit and began giving myself a mindset tune-up. My feeling badly was of no use to her. Just as I began to shine my metaphorical flashlight into my mind to reveal the source thoughts and emotions that were making my heart break, I asked her a question.

“Were any of your friends there while this fifth grader was threatening you?” I asked.

“Yes, but they were too scared to help me,” she replied.

Suddenly I was a school girl back on the bus. In that moment I knew to my core why I found it nearly impossible to ask people for help – even with small things. It was not because I lacked humility, or thought I could do a better job, or any of the other reasons I had considered throughout my life. I had an identical experience to this nine-year-old girl’s. My friend was right beside me on the bus and she just laughed while a scary, drugged out older girl threatened me. Of course, now I know my friend was nervous and scared. But, the childhood belief that stuck with me was that no one, not even my friends would help me when I really needed it so why even ask. That belief was the source of my trouble with asking people for help. Relief and joy instantly filled my whole body. I felt like someone lifted a pack off of my back. That was it. All of that happened in about ten seconds as I continued to listen to my third grade friend.

That day I asked the other girls to help me clean up at the end of our session. They were delighted to help. Imagine that. And I have been asking for and receiving help around the house all weekend.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Energetic Awareness: How I Quantum Leaped to Success When I Let Go of “Motivational” Books, CDs, Videos and Events

By Julie Rahm

For years I have been a self-help junkie. I read books, listened to tapes and CDs, watched videos, and attended events. Speakers got me pumped up and passionate. But, I would awaken the morning after the event and be unable to re-create the “pumped up passion”. My metaphorical level would tilt with discouragement. Thank goodness I purchased the speakers’ CDs so I could listen, get pumped up again and regain balance. But after a few days even the CDs would not work any more. My metaphorical level remained off balance. People who are supposed to have credibility were telling me I should feel motivated by what I was reading, hearing, and seeing, and that I needed to be passionate about my dream. Everyone else seemed motivated. Of course I must be, too.

For years I was convinced that I truly was motivated by it all. I was following all of the self-help advice. I had written personal and professional goals with dates when I would achieve said goals. I had a list of rhyming positive affirmations that I recited daily. “I am feeling energetic and lean weighing 118.” So why did I still weigh 128 pounds and why was I not a millionaire? What was wrong with me? The problem was that my mind did not believe any of it.

When I let go of all the self-help advice and focused only on whether my energy felt weak or strong, everything changed. Doors of amazing opportunities as an author, speaker, coach, and radio show host suddenly opened to me. The key was to simply monitor the way I was feeling.

Your energy changes with your thoughts and emotions. The minute your energy weakens, your metaphorical level tilts off balance indicating that your thoughts/emotions are heading away from the results you desire. The way you think affects the way you feel. The way you feel affects the way you act. The way you act drives the results you get. When your level tilts, use your metaphorical flashlight (logic and intuition) to reveal the negative thoughts/emotions at the source of your weakened energy. Once you identify the thoughts/emotions, use your metaphorical pliers to pluck them out of your mind. (Identifying the source thoughts/emotions dissipates the energy behind them and strengthens you again.) Use your metaphorical utility knife to cut the cord to all of the past experiences and memories of having those thoughts and feeling those emotions. Then, use your metaphorical hammer to hammer in believable thoughts until your energy is strong and your metaphorical level is in balance again.

Maintaining energetic balance simply means nothing affects you in an adverse way. No matter what happens around you, you remain energetically strong – and neutral. Neutral is a much easier daily state to attain than passion. When you are in neutral, you have clarity and your thoughts are taking you toward the results you desire.

So the next time you are watching a video on YouTube that is supposed to inspire you, check your metaphorical level. Do you feel worse about yourself or better as a result of watching it? Be aware of what is happening to your energy, keep it strong, and you can do anything.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Staying Open to New Ideas

By Julie Rahm

Successful people know how to change with the times. They do not get stuck doing the same things in the same way, year after year. They regularly evaluate where they are and what they are doing so they can make adjustments and improve. Just because something worked five years ago does not mean it will still be effective today. We cannot get so set in our ways that we never try anything new. That is what happens to some people who have no zest for life. Every time an opportunity comes for positive change they shrink away from it. They do not realize that is what keeps them from going to the next level in their lives. Their metaphorical levels are tilting out of balance from negative experiences and memories, fears and emotions. In order to keep the sparkle in our lives we need to get our metaphorical levels back in balance and become open for change.

Perhaps you have set out on a new path with an end in mind and things did not work out the way you hoped. In such times often a different opportunity presents itself. And yet you can miss that opportunity completely by not being open for something new.

I heard about a boy named Mike who wanted to be the greatest baseball hitter in the world. Every day he would practice in his backyard. He would say, “I am the greatest hitter in the world!” toss the ball in the air and swing his bat. And he would miss. Strike one. Unphased, he would pick up his ball and with even more enthusiasm say, “I am the greatest hitter of all time in the world!”. He would toss the ball in the air, swing his bat and miss. Strike two. More determined than ever, he would adjust his cap, pick up his ball, and adjust his stance. With passion from his toes he would yell, “I am the world’s greatest hitter of all time in the entire universe!”. He would toss his ball in the air, swing his bat, and miss. Strike three. Without missing a beat, Mike picked up his ball, looked at it and said, “What do you know? I am the greatest pitcher of all time!”. So we need to stay open for something new.

If you feel like you shrink from new opportunities, get clarity about why and bring enthusiasm back to your life by using your metaphorical tool kit to give yourself a mindset tune-up. Use your metaphorical flashlight to shine light on the memories, thoughts and emotions the opportunity brings up in you. Use your metaphorical pliers to pluck out negative thoughts and emotions. Remember, what you are really doing is identifying the truth about what thoughts and emotions are causing your metaphorical level to be out of balance. When you identify the true thought or emotion behind the way you feel, the energy behind it dissipates and you feel relief.

Then, use your metaphorical utility knife to cut the cord to the cumulative effects of bad-feeling experiences and memories being triggered by the opportunity in front of you. Take yourself back to the earliest time you can remember feeling the same way. Who was there? What happened? What did you think and what emotions did you feel at the time? Put your intention on the core of your body and command the cumulative effects of those thoughts and emotions to leave you. They really will. You do not need them any more. This time is not like that time.

Now you are ready to use your metaphorical hammer to hammer in the mindset framework for being open to new ideas and change. Use your metaphorical screwdriver to connect your intentions to stay open for something new with your actions and your actions with results. Use your metaphorical measuring tape to measure your progress. Noticing your progress puts positive energy behind it and builds momentum for more opportunities.

So keep your metaphorical tool kit handy. When the chance comes for something new, like promotion or increase in your life, pay attention to your level. If you are out of balance, give yourself a mindset tune-up so you have clarity in saying yes or no to the opportunity.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Putting a Metaphorical Stake through the Hearts of Your Energy Vampires

By Julie Rahm

Novels by Stephenie Meyer and Anne Rice are not the only place to find vampires. In fact, they are lurking all around you in the form of family members, friends and co-workers. At their first opportunity they bite, leaving even the healthiest person feeling drained, weakened and deflated while they are rejuvenated. Brief encounters can be quelled by fresh air, homemade chocolate chip cookies, or aspirin. However, prolonged exposure over time can increase your risk for fatigue, depression, nausea, headaches, overeating and conditions ranging from “ulcers to heart attacks” according to psychiatrist Judith Orloff, M.D., author of Positive Energy.

Dr. Orloff describes the eight most common energy vampires as sob sister, drama queen, blamer, fixer-upper, charmer, go-for-the-jugular fiend, constant talker/joke-teller (aka jester), and unintentional sapper, although others may be lurking in the shadows awaiting their metaphorical full moon to reveal themselves. Each vampire has a unique attack method, yet strategies for defending yourself follow the same principles – set boundaries and work on your own positive energy.

Every encounter between human beings is an exchange of energy. We are energetic beings in physical bodies. Without energy we are nothing. Once you become aware that a family member, friend, or co-worker is sucking the life force out of you and is regularly causing your metaphorical level to tilt, start plotting your defense.

First, establish your boundaries and limits. For instance, the sob sister is one of the most prevalent and harmful energy vampires. She talks on and on about her numerous problems – a victim without focusing on solutions. When you encounter her, tell her you can only listen to her grumble for five minutes. Use your metaphorical pliers to pluck out any thoughts that you have a responsibility to be her therapist or fix her situation. Her problems are not your job. If she wanted to find solutions and do something other than complain she would. She will likely resist you and say something like “I thought you were my friend!”. At which point you can say to her that you are her friend and you need to take care of yourself, too. You will need to have this conversation multiple times. Be firm and kind at the same time.

Second, use your metaphorical hammer to hammer in your mindset for clear, positive energy. Your positive energy, clarity and vision must be greater than your energy vampire’s negativity. Try hammering in a vision of yourself in a beautiful place. Jack Canfield suggests imagining yourself in the center of the fountain outside of the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas, with sunlight dancing off the walls of water droplets surrounding you. Or, hammer in visions of things that make you happy – children, puppies, sailboats on the water. Or, use your metaphorical screwdriver to reconnect your mind with one of the best moments of your life. All of these defenses build a strong positive field around you which will keep out negative energy.

With some energy vampires walking away is the best strategy. This works best if you are in a conversation with a “jester” or a “charmer” who is only interested in hearing his own voice and opinion while being the center of attention. Some people feel like they are being rude if they walk away in the middle of a conversation. My favorite way out is to say, “Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.”

It is easy to resent energy vampires. Just remember that most of the time they are not malicious in their intent. They often have no awareness of their effect on people. So be kind to them as you take care of your own energy needs. To neutralize their negative energy make sure you are not being negative, too. You can stop the cycle of negativity by sending them love and prayers even while you are together. See them for the beautiful spirits they are even when their behavior suggests otherwise.

Maintaining your positive energy to slay energy vampires is like maintaining your immune system to slay disease. Make a list of things that boost your energy both physically and emotionally. Get enough sleep. Exercise. Choose foods that raise your energy. Breathe deeply. When you are physically tired you are more susceptible to energy attacks. By taking care of your own energy and not adding to the negativity of your energy vampires, you are bringing them your best help.

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Second Secret to Money Flowing Easily and Frequently to You

By Julie Rahm

Forgiveness is like setting a captive bird free and realizing you are the bird. Forgiveness is dismissing all blame. Forgiveness is a way to get into the present. Forgiveness is the second secret to money and prosperity flowing easily and frequently to you.

By forgiving and letting go of blame, guilt and anger you have room to be prosperous, and your metaphorical level stays in balance. What do you get out of not forgiving yourself and others? Blame, guilt and anger take up so much space inside of you that prosperity cannot get in and your metaphorical level remains tilted toward the negative. When you talk about your wounds and hold onto them, you focus your energy on your wounds. You are like the sun in your own life. What you shine on grows; meaning what you focus on grows. Consequently, when you talk about and hold onto your wounds they seem to grow.

Why is it so hard to forgive others? We blame others, because we are unwilling to forgive ourselves. It is impossible to forgive others if we do not forgive ourselves first. Because, we cannot give away what we do not have. We must first create forgiveness in ourselves in order to give it away to others. Use your metaphorical flashlight to shed light on the truth about why you are not forgiving yourself. If you are having trouble identifying the truth, think about the earliest time in your life when you felt the same feelings. Who was there? What was happening? Pluck those thoughts from your mind with your metaphorical pliers. Use your metaphorical utility knife to cut the cords to all of the past times you felt you were unworthy or undeserving of forgiveness. Then hammer in the mindset framework for forgiveness and prosperity by forgiving yourself.

Simply practice forgiving yourself. The energy that is forgiving becomes the energy that is you. Every night for five minutes honor your subconscious and unconscious minds by letting go of the day with forgiveness. Go through the events of the day in your mind. Where you need to let go of something, say “I forgive myself for ________”, or “I forgive _______ for ________”.

Forgiveness is the second key to money and prosperity flowing easily and frequently to you. Forgive yourself and others so peace, contentment, happiness and prosperity have a place to live in you. When you do you are on your way to being your best self!

Friday, September 24, 2010

The First Secret to Money Flowing Easily and Frequently to You

By Julie Rahm
Have you ever noticed that when you have prosperity people say things to you like “you’re lucky” or “you’re blessed”? Sometimes people actually accuse God of punishing them when they are not prosperous. The reality is that people who prosper have the mindset for prosperity. They pay attention to their relationships with people and money.

How are your relationships? Consider your answers to the following questions:

Does the energy you put into a relationship affect the relationship?

If you put your happiness in the hands of someone else, what might happen?

If you doubt someone, what might happen?

If you tell someone they are not enough, what might happen?

Do you ever tell yourself you are not enough? We say things to ourselves that we would never say in a relationship with others.

If you tell someone they let you down, what might happen? Is it too much to heal? What if you say that to yourself?

If you tell someone they are the key to your most awful stress, what might happen?

What if you say that to yourself?

Now think about all of those questions as they relate to your relationship with money. Money is an energy in this world. It is a currency and it could run away from you if you put your happiness in it, or if you doubt it, or if you say it is not enough. If you do not care about money you are not going to have any money. What you put out to the world energetically comes back to you. Is that ever not true? No! Money is a reflection of the energy you put out to the world. Your relationship with money is very important, because it is a regular gauge to the energy you are transmitting.

To improve your energetic transmissions, learn to give and receive. How much of what you receive is because of another person, and how much is because of you? I contend that 100-percent of what we receive is because of us and what we give and transmit, even though it is difficult to prove. We do not see a one-to-one correlation to what we give and receive, because giving and receiving are an energy. We are not talking about our minds or our egos. If I want to give, I do it without expecting anything in return. That way no one feels like they owe me and my relationships are not impaired.

Now think about this. What attracts you to people that keeps you in relationships with them? Think about your answer in your relationship with money. What emotions are you attributing or transmitting toward money? What if you completely deny love in a relationship? What if you place blame on the other person? What will the relationship give you?

Again, money is a flow of energy, a currency. Pretend you do not need it and it will go to someone who does.

What if you hold onto a relationship too tightly? You choke it off. The same is true with money.

Work on your relationship with yourself and with life in the little things and you will change your energetic transmissions to attract the relationships and money you desire. Change your perspective. When your metaphorical level indicates you are out of balance in your relationship with money, get out your metaphorical flashlight. Use your flashlight to shine light into the darkest corners of your mind to discover the root cause of why you are out of balance. Use the logic of your answers to all of the questions above along with your intuition. Once you identify the thoughts, fears or emotions that are tilting your level, use your metaphorical pliers to pluck them out one by one. Think of the earliest time in your life when you had the same thoughts or felt the same fears or emotions. What was happening? Who was there with you? Use your metaphorical utility knife to cut the cord to the cumulative effects of all of your similar experiences and memories. What you are really doing is recognizing the truth about your thoughts and feelings while being aware of your body, mind and spirit. In doing so you are releasing the energy behind those thoughts and feelings so you feel better, more neutral to the experiences and memories.

Then, use your metaphorical hammer to hammer in your mindset for prosperity. Talk to money. Make paying your bills a special event. Pour yourself something you like to drink. Thank the electric company while you pay their bill. Thank them because they enable you to stay cool in the summer and warm in the winter, have light at night, cook meals, and hear music. Now of course you are happy to pay their bill!

Improve your relationship with money by thinking of the techniques you use to be better in relationships with people. Do you say sincere “thank yous” frequently? Appreciate the help money gives you. If money is a concern, then set everything else aside and focus on it 100-percent. Listen to it and honor it. Get help from a financial professional if you need it.

Now you know the first secret to prosperity – work on your relationship with money. Pay attention to your relationship with money every day. If you were money, would you stick around with you?

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Second Secret to Happy Relationships

By Julie Rahm

The second secret to happy relationships is simple. Most people just get it backwards. The secret is that people will help you get everything you want if you first give them what they need. The tricky parts are discovering what other people need, and being willing to provide it before your own desires are met.

As I coach corporate leaders I hear things like “I will give my people more praise when they show me some extra effort”. What if instead the leaders praised their people for something specific they were already doing well? At that point, we would take out my clients’ metaphorical tool kits and check their levels. They are surprised to find that they stay in balance when they offer praise first, and out of balance when they think their people have not yet done anything worthy of praise. With their pliers, we pluck out the thoughts that nothing praiseworthy has been done and that people will get lazy if they receive too much praise. And then we hammer in the mindset framework for success. When leaders find something to sincerely praise, they build trust with their people, morale and efficiency improve, and absenteeism is reduced.

The same secret applies to couples. As I coach couples I often hear statements like “I would bring my wife flowers if she would show me some affection;” or “I would show my husband more affection if he helped me around the house.” If that sounds like you, take out your metaphorical level. Are you out of balance? If so, shine your flashlight into the dark recesses of your mind and reveal the reason. Pluck out the negative thoughts and emotions you find. Remember, when you identify the real causes for your imbalance something changes and you feel better. Use your utility knife to cut the cord to all of the times you have been disappointed in this relationship and past relationships. Hammer in the mindset framework for success. When you focus on the other person rather than on yourself, you discover what that person needs most from you. When you give someone what they need, they will help you get what you want. It really is as simple as that.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The First Secret to Happy Relationships

By Julie Rahm

College football is my favorite sport to watch. I love to cheer for the Cornhuskers from my alma mater, the University of Nebraska – Lincoln. When Bo Pelini became their coach the team had just completed a 5 win – 7 loss season. But Pelini was unsympathetic and allowed no self-pity among the players. In fact, he calmly and directly told them such a season was unacceptable and did not reflect who they really were. I am paraphrasing, but that was the essence of his message, and that is the relationship secret. He saw the team for who they truly were, not as what their behavior made them appear to be. And, in a few short years the result has been rankings in the NCAA Top 10 and a team with great chemistry among the players.

How do you approach your relationships with your family and others? Do you feel sorry for them in tough times? How often do you feel emotions like anxiety, frustration, confusion, humiliation or anger because of their behavior? In almost every case you feel those emotions because the person did not meet your expectations. You hold the vision of the beautiful spiritual beings the people really are. And their behavior is incongruent with your vision. If you allow people to pull you down into their behavior being who they are, you feel negative emotions. The secret to remaining happy in your relationships is to hold onto your vision of the perfect spiritual beings people truly are.

How can you hold your vision when people’s behavior is so contrary to it? Perhaps a specific example would help. One of my clients is the mother of a tween-aged son whose behavior at school continues to get worse, and who is becoming more disrespectful of her every day. She allowed herself to be drawn into her son’s daily behavior and almost lost sight of who her son really is. We opened her metaphorical tool kit and got to work. Her metaphorical level showed her to be way off balance. Her metaphorical flashlight revealed that her son was not behaving like the beautiful spiritual being she knew him to be. Her mind was full of negative thoughts: “I’m failing as a mother”; “I’m afraid my son will hurt someone physically and end up in jail”; “I’m humiliated that other people know that I can’t get my son under control”; “It was a mistake to have children”. We took out her metaphorical pliers and plucked out the negative thoughts and emotions one by one. With her metaphorical utility knife we cut the cords to the cumulative effects of all the times she felt she was not good enough.

And then we hammered in the thought framework for a positive relationship with her son. We started with thoughts from Abraham/Esther Hicks. Abraham would say that the son’s purpose was to reveal what is wrong with the system of school to which we subject our children. The system wants conformity to rules, many of which smother the spirit. No matter what children do, it will never be enough for the system to show them acceptance and love for their uniqueness. Knowing he could not do enough, her son rebelled. We hammered understanding into my client’s thought framework. And we hammered in the vision of who she knew her son to be in his perfect spirit. It was my client’s job to hammer in that vision so clearly that nothing her son did could drag her away from it. By holding her clear vision, she was creating the space for her son to step into it, reconnecting his body with his spirit.

The only thing left to do was for my client to have a conversation with her son, which we practiced several times. She needed to tell her son that she loved him and who she saw him to be. And, no matter what behaviors he exhibited she would no longer allow herself stray from her vision of who he truly is. When she did so, she felt badly. Holding the vision enabled her to feel good. It would be up to her son whether or not he decided to step into the space she made for him.

As you might imagine, her son was blown away by the conversation. Gradually he became more respectful. Mother and son continue to make positive strides together.

You can create the same kind of positive changes in any relationship. The secret is strongly holding the space for people to be who they truly are by seeing them as fully integrated in body and spirit.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

How a Relationship Made a Quantum-Leap When I Dared to Suck

By Julie Rahm

Jackie has been my bonus daughter (stepdaughter) for over 12 years. I love her so much, yet she may not know how much because we are a bit guarded with each other. For the last 12 months, Jackie has participated in the Practical Nursing program at her local college. About a month before her graduation, she asked me to play the piano for her graduation ceremony. Jackie told me how much it would mean to her if I were part of such an important event in her life. I would only need to play Pomp and Circumstance and some background music during a portion of the ceremony. And, she thought the piano would be in the back of the auditorium.

My heart melted as I reminded Jackie that I had not played the piano publicly since Eighth Grade. She responded that she enjoyed hearing me play and that she thought I played very well. My memory flashed back to how much I enjoyed helping her when she was taking piano lessons eleven years ago. She had asked me so sincerely. In a moment of possibility thinking, I said yes!

Hanging up the phone I realized the countdown started at only 28 days to graduation. I dug through stacks of old music looking for Pomp and Circumstance. Eureka! I found it. However, the arrangement called for eight to ten fingers on the keys at all times. As I began to play, tension grew from my chest outward to my head and toes. Uh oh. What had I done?

For the next 28 days, I practiced during every free moment that I could pull myself away from the demands of business. Over and over I played each section until it was perfect. Each day I built on my work from the previous day. Remembering from childhood recitals that my performances were never as good as my practices, I worked hard to make my living room rehearsals sound magnificent.

As I practiced, I kept my metaphorical tool kit handy. As I made mistakes, my level tilted. I used my metaphorical pliers and plucked out thoughts that I would mess up, ruin the ceremony, and humiliate myself, my husband and Jackie. With my metaphorical utility knife I cut the cord to past times of being nauseous before performing, fearing criticism and rejection, and feeling humiliated. I hammered in the knowledge that playing for the ceremony was not about me. It was about celebrating the graduates and creating something beautiful for all in attendance.

As I arrived for the dress rehearsal the day before the ceremony, I was overcome by emotions when Jackie proudly introduced me to her teachers and classmates as her mom. She had never just called me mom. Feeling drunk with joy, I went to the back of the auditorium to look for the piano. But it was not there. Instead, I found a fabulous grand piano on stage right. I had never played a grand piano and did not even know how to open it properly. Thankfully the operations manager was there to set up the piano for me. Playing on the stage in front of the audience was not what I had envisioned. I needed my tool kit again to pluck out my fears and continue to hammer in the fact that the event was not about me. Through a miracle of God I was able to play. The dress rehearsal went well.

For the ceremony I wore an elegant long black skirt and sparkly long-sleeved black top. If I sucked at least I wanted to look good doing it! Seeing my name in the program with “pianist” behind it was surreal. I have had a lot of titles, but never anything like “pianist”.

An hour before the ceremony began, I warmed up and played through the music perfectly. Ahhhhhh. I sat on the piano bench on the dark stage waiting to begin. As the stage manager brought up the lights, I took a deep breath and lifted my hands. With passion, I hit the keys for the dramatic introduction to Pomp and Circumstance. Instead of the beautiful music that came out an hour earlier, it sounded like something fell on the keys. In my confusion I felt possessed. After a few bars I recovered, finished the introduction and began the familiar part of the piece as the graduates began their procession. Fortunately, the graduates were outside of the auditorium and did not hear those first notes. The rest of my playing went well and was timed perfectly. The ceremony was lovely and meaningful.

Following the ceremony, the graduates gave me a thank you card each one had signed along with a stunning bouquet of yellow roses. Jackie and I hugged, both of us relieved. Being on stage in front of people to receive her certificate was a stretch for Jackie who does not like to be the center of attention.

A few days after graduation, I received a heartfelt handwritten note from Jackie that I may frame. Chills came over my body as I read how grateful she is for our relationship, that she loves me, and how much it meant to her that I was part of her ceremony. She understood what a challenge it was for me and how much I have going on each day.

I wanted my relationship with Jackie to be deeper. So I did something different and dared to suck. With total disregard to my performance anxiety I agreed to do something Jackie asked of me. The unexpected gift was a quantum-leap in our relationship. Now I challenge you to keep your metaphorical tool kit ready and at your first opportunity, dare to suck! And then celebrate the resulting miracles.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Power of Teamwork

By Julie Rahm

Yesterday our town had a fun, entertaining and community-bonding event – the Dragon Boat Races. Nine teams of 20 people paddled Dragon Boat canoes on the Neuse River. The teams came from businesses, non-profits and neighborhoods. In addition to racing, each team decorated their team tent and raised money for their favorite charities.

As I watched the teams prepare to race, I observed their varied mindsets. Most people expected the winning team to be the one from our local Health Club. Their team members were the most physically fit and they had practiced the most. But that team did not even make the top three. The winning team, Paddle Mania from Deaton Yacht Service, won the event by five seconds – a huge margin. What made this team so much better performing than the eight others? After all, they had only practiced together for one hour the evening before the race, none of the team members had paddling experience, and the team of men and women spanned three generations. The winning difference was that the team worked together. In Dragon Boat racing, synchronicity breeds speed. Togetherness was the key ingredient. Despite the varying weights and strength capabilities of their members, with each drum beat, 20 paddles stroked through the water as if they were connected and automated. Everyone on the team appeared to like and respect each other. Their chemistry was electric. While they all hoped to win the race, their most important aspect of the day was working well together and having fun.

Unlike the winning Paddle Mania team, the other slower teams behaved like 20 individuals. They had members whose mindsets were tilted off balance by negative thoughts toward other teams and even toward members of their own teams who they thought were not good enough. There was some minor trash-talking as if it were part of a winning strategy. Trash talking can be fun and entertaining. However, while a member of a team, it is generally detrimental to a winning performance because it creates negative energy and directs one’s focus away from their team.

So the next time you find yourself on a team, whether at work, at home or for fun, remember to bring your metaphorical tool kit. Use your metaphorical level to ensure your thoughts are off of competition and in balance. Use your metaphorical pliers to pluck out thoughts of criticizing others and keeping others down in order to raise yourself up. Let your metaphorical plumb bob point to respecting your teammates, cooperating with each other, doing your best and having fun. Achieving your goal and “winning” follow. And remember to measure your progress with your metaphorical measuring tape!

The rest of the story...
The rest of the story is that my husband, John, paddled with Paddle Mania and his friends at Deaton Yacht Service. I delighted in seeing them pull away from the pack with Grandmother Deaton drumming their paddling rhythm from the front of the boat and Granddaughter Deaton paddling at the back. Small town living agrees with me!

Friday, August 13, 2010

How Much Do Health Worries Affect You?

By Julie Marie Rahm

On a scale of one to ten, one being “no effect” and ten being “paralyzing effect”, how much do thoughts of your health or the health of others affect your life? In this section you will learn how to discipline your thoughts about health and reduce their effect on you to less than a three out of ten.

Health concerns top the list of thoughts that tilt the metaphorical levels of my clients. They fear that they are victims of their genetic code and are waiting for the inevitable day disease grips them. They fear for and fret over their loved ones who are ill. They think they have to live with ailments and take prescription drugs to relieve their symptoms. And, they are weary of the amount of misinformation they receive about their health and the health of those they love. Do any of those thoughts resonate with you? In the next several paragraphs you will meet two of my clients and learn how they used their metaphorical tools and the core principles to resolve their issues about health.

Let’s begin with my client who feared her genetic code and thought heart disease was inevitable for her. She came to me with health affecting her at a level of eight out of ten. We reviewed the latest science together. Without going into great detail and oversimplifying a bit, recent research by scientists and doctors like Dr. Bruce Lipton has shown that DNA in our cells is not the cell brain, but is instead merely the sex organ. Cells receive instructions on what to do from outside themselves. Ultimately, researchers have concluded that we are not victims of our genes. Rather our beliefs and expectations about our health most affect the health results we experience.

Armed with new knowledge, my client used her pliers to pluck out her thoughts and fears of being a victim of her genes and of the inevitability of disease. She hammered in the framework for good health by hammering in the thought that her truth is having a healthy body. She used her utility knife to cut the cords to the cumulative effects of all of her experiences and memories of health misinformation and disease. She manifested her healthy life by using her screwdriver to connect her intention of being healthy to her actions, her actions to results and her results to manifesting reality. She used her measuring tape to measure her results disciplining her thoughts around the subject of health. Now health affects my client at a level of only two out of ten.

The second client came to me bothered by thoughts and fears about her sister’s health that affected her at a level of eight out of ten. Her sister was only 37-years-old and had ovarian cancer. And, her sister’s children were only eight-years-old and ten-years-old. I explained to my client that we do not know what the future will bring and that at least one person has survived every disease in the world. My client’s primary job with her sister was to hold the vision of her sister as healthy and to treat her as such. The thought energy we project reflects back to us as the same energy. Fear is the worst energy to bring to an ill person. Love is the energy people need to heal.

My client understood these concepts in her head, but her heart was still full of fear. She needed neutralize her fears of the future and her past experiences and memories of women with ovarian cancer. She used her pliers to pluck fears of her sister dying from her mind. With her utility knife she cut the cords to the cumulative effects of the experiences and memories she had of people with cancer of all kinds, especially those people who died. She hammered in thoughts of pure love for her sister so there was no room for any other thought. At last my client could use her screwdriver and connect her intentions, actions and results. She felt so much calmer about her sister’s condition. Now instead of adding to the illness energy she brought healing energy to her sister and a sense of peace to her sister’s husband and children. My client had lowered the effect on her of her sister’s health to a three out of ten.

Health concerns affect people more than anything else in their lives until they learn to use their metaphorical tool kits. You can reduce the effects of health concerns by applying your tools and converting the fears that grip you into love. In doing so you will create the environment for health in your own body and in the bodies of others.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Competitive Survive – The Cooperative Thrive

By Julie Marie Rahm

The value of cooperating with each other is my favorite lesson to teach whether I am speaking to corporate leaders, volunteers, salespeople or assembly line personnel. To be productive and successful you must eliminate competition from your life. Why? Every person who wins success by competing causes others to lose. When you cause others to lose you are not living a balanced life of value and fulfillment. If you succeed only to feed your ambition, to outperform others, or to be famous you are living purely for the pleasure of your mind. You are not living in a way that balances the triad of your body, mind and spirit. And, you will never be satisfied. Every person who achieves success by creating paves the way for others and inspires them to follow her.

As an aside, if you prefer a more scientific reason to cooperate, while you are on the Internet read about “reciprocal altruism” in evolutionary biology, game theory and the “Prisoner’s Dilemma” in mathematics and neuroeconomics. You will learn that your brain produces dopamine giving you feelings of pleasure when you cooperate, not when you compete. You will also learn that recurring interactions with the same individuals, especially when you enter the interactions with a reputation, stimulate the desire to cooperate. Your brain’s frontal cortex helps you resist the temptation to “win the battle” – the interaction in the short term, and “lose the war” – the long term relationship.

Look at your life. Have you built a life around competing? Do you use expressions like "This is tough," or "I'm fighting my way through this"? Pay special attention to thoughts that keep your mind in competition programming. "This is going to be a long road," or "I've got to work hard so that I can earn this income," are typical thoughts that can lead you toward a life of strains and struggles.

Start now cooperating with your work world. Use your metaphorical pliers to pluck out thoughts of your work world being a difficult place to be and where you always need your sword and shield raised high. Instead take a moment each day to analyze where you can become more cooperative.

Use your metaphorical hammer and hammer in the answers to the following questions. How can you cooperate with the marketplace? How can you cooperative with your boss and fellow associates? How can you cooperate with your family and friends, the weather, your car, and your health? Discipline your thoughts by hammering in your strong self relationship and your vision for what you want to create.

Is your corporate culture so competition-based that you cannot imagine what cooperation looks like? If so, make peace with where you are and start with small changes. Speak respectfully to and about others. Greet people with eye contact and a smile. Keep your work area tidy. Give your best effort to each task and client. Support each other. Help each other.

Remember your work day starts at home, because your mood for the day starts at home. Keep your metaphorical level in balance by cooperating with your environment. Cooperate with your body and its health by sleeping when you are tired and eating when you are hungry. Dress for the weather. Maintain your vehicle or keep your bus/rail pass handy. Give yourself plenty of time to arrive at work on time even if there are traffic or transportation delays. If someone is rude to you along the way, use your pliers to pluck out your thoughts about using your finger to show them they are number one and hammer in love. Use your utility knife to cut the cord to all of your past experiences and memories of rude people. Arrive at work with your level in balance.

If you are still struggling to imagine your workplace as cooperative, allow me to use a very specific example of cooperating in a career that is stereotypically competitive, namely selling real estate. Imagine REALTORS® and their associates sharing with each other techniques that work best for them. Imagine a REALTOR® from one company re-setting the sign that blew down in front of a home in her neighborhood being sold by a REALTOR® from a different company. Imagine REALTORS® knowing first hand the inventory of homes for sale in their area and being ready to answer questions about specific homes when potential clients call. Imagine all REALTORS® being masters of client service and their trade.

Use your imagination. Be a leader in your workplace and pave the way with your creating. You may need several interactions cooperating with the same person to build trust. Be persistent. Practice forgiving cooperating.

I cannot emphasize enough the value of cooperation. The REALTORS® I coach experience the success and peace that comes with a focus on cooperating and creating. By applying a cooperative mindset individually and collectively each real estate firm, whose associates I coach, achieves the #1 position in its community. One firm even ranked in the top 10 for its franchise internationally.

Whether or not your company or business has a competitive culture, you can succeed by cooperating and creating. Opportunities will come to you because people will like working with you. Co-workers and management will align with you. You will pave the way and inspire others to create along with you.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Are We Here to Compete for Scarce Resources or to Create from an Unlimited Supply?

By Julie Marie Rahm

The rules of the money game have changed. Are you left wondering what to do to make a living or grow what is left of your money? For generations rules of the money game were clear. The more benefit we provided to a company, to a business, to people, to the world the more money we made. With a few exceptions, companies and employees were loyal to each other. In general, if we lived on seventy- to eighty-percent of our income, saved and invested ten- to twenty-percent, and gave ten-percent we could expect to have a consistently growing lifestyle, retire as planned and have enough money to last for life with some to pass along to our families. The next generation had a better lifestyle than the previous generation. Stocks were generally a safe long-term investment. Evidence around us made money decisions seem clear.

Lately the verbiage from economists has changed from “cycles” that go down, but come back up to “bubbles” that pop. Job security has become an oxymoron. When it comes to money and security we are left feeling anxious and wondering what is true.

To find relief from the anxiety, all we need to do is identify the real root cause. Remember, when we know exactly what is bothering us the energy behind it dissipates and we get relief. Maybe it is “economics” itself that tilts our metaphorical levels. By definition, economics is the study of how the forces of supply and demand allocate scarce resources. If resources are scarce, then we are destined to a life of competition with each other. If someone else beats us to the resources then we are out of luck.

Let’s bust the scarcity myth right now. Use your metaphorical pliers to pluck thoughts of scarcity and competition from your mind. Then, use your metaphorical hammer to hammer in the following thought. We are here in this physical experience as human beings to create, not to compete for what others created before us. Resources are not scarce.

Hammer in the framework for creating by hammering in the idea that the most important resource is the invisible intelligent life force that surrounds us and lives in everything, including all of us. Like all intelligent life forms its inherent drive is to create more life. Our thoughts aligned with this “force” give the “force” form, provided our thoughts are not about selfish gratification, but rather creating benefits for all people. Look around you. There is so much more “nothing” than something – possibly an infinite supply.

So take out your metaphorical utility knife and cut the ties to all of the past times you gave up before you started, thinking someone else beat you to the resources you needed; to all the times you thought you had to take from someone else to have what you wanted; to all the times you thought others had to suffer for you to succeed. Formless intelligent life force is in abundant supply. And that “force” takes form as our thoughts direct.

Now you are ready to discipline your thoughts, focusing them on what is true for you rather than on apparent truths in the world around you. When you discipline your thoughts in this way, the facts don’t count. Economic conditions are irrelevant. When you are one-hundred-percent focused on your creative vision you will connect with the answers you need. Your actions and their results will follow manifesting in the reality of your creation. Even if you are unemployed and have lost your life savings, you still have your thoughts and an unlimited supply of intelligent life force with which to create. No challenge is too big for you. You can handle your basic needs, the needs of your family, and the needs of the world if you so choose.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Living in the Present – Good Advice or an Excuse for Mediocrity?

By Julie Marie Rahm

Have you noticed that it has become trendy to talk of living in the present as if you have no past or future? Have you found it to be good advice? I understand that it is important to focus on what you are doing at the time otherwise you could make a mistake, have an accident, or harm a relationship. But you have a past and a high probability of a future. To act otherwise is to live a lie. Never considering the past sounds like an excuse for not resolving the cumulative effects of negative life experiences and not growing into the best person you can be. Never thinking of the future sounds like an excuse for stagnating and being unprepared for opportunities.

Of course, you do not want to dwell on the past - times when you felt wronged or had regrets - because you get more of what you think about. To live happily, you do need to rid yourself of the effects of your past. When you reflect on a bad memory and your metaphorical level starts to tilt, simply use your metaphorical flashlight to shine light on the part of the memory that troubles you. When you identify what troubles you, your metaphorical utility knife cuts the ties to the cumulative effects the memory has on you. If the memory still troubles you, then you have not identified the real reason for your feelings about it. Go back and use your flashlight and utility knife again. Then use your metaphorical hammer to hammer in the framework for better feeling thoughts. Freeing yourself from bondage of the past frees your mind to work on what you want and where you want to go with your life. Otherwise you remain a prisoner to your memories, stuck where you are.

Conversely, you also do not want to daydream about the future all day and not take care of the matters at hand. However, some thought to where you want to be at some time in the future is valuable, because those thoughts are seeds that will take root and sprout at some future time. The better you get at using your metaphorical screwdriver, the faster those thought seeds will manifest in the results you desire. With your screwdriver you connect your intentions to your actions and your actions to results. When you have a choice to make, how do you know what to choose if you do not have a result in mind? If you think only of the present moment any choice will do, because you are not considering the consequences.

So let go of using the present as an excuse for being the way you are and where you are. What does it really mean to live in the present? Focus on what you are doing at the time. Acknowledge your tears and joys past and your fears and dreams of the future. And keep your metaphorical tools handy so you can fearlessly and successfully navigate the past-present-future time continuum of your life.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Interstate Anxiety

By Julie Marie Rahm

Have you ever been stuck in traffic knowing you were going to be late for an important meeting? That’s what happened to my husband, John, and me on Monday. We were driving from Philadelphia to eastern North Carolina, a trip that typically takes eight to nine hours. My husband had a speaking engagement that evening – “Declaration of Independence, the Rest of the Story”. We left Philadelphia before 7AM thinking we would have two to three hours to unwind before his event.

We traveled south on I-95 instead of taking the shore route. Delighted with our progress, we stopped at Wendy’s in Ashland, VA for lunch at 11:30AM. Thirty minutes later, we accelerated back onto I-95 south, only to find ourselves decelerating to a stop before we got up to speed. A voice on the radio said there had been a two-car accident in which two people were killed and three people injured. All lanes and the shoulder of I-95 south were closed. We were three miles from the next exit sitting in a four-lane parking lot. The police directed all traffic to detour at the next exit. One hour passed as we crept forward. Then two hours. Our cushion for an early arrival in North Carolina got eaten up one minute at a time.

I could feel John’s anxiety building as his metaphorical level began to tilt farther and farther off balance. What kind of Mindset Mechanic would I be if I could not help my own husband feel better? All he had to do was identify the truth about what was troubling him and the issue would be resolved. Metaphorical pliers at the ready, I asked John what was bothering him. At first he thought it was being stopped in traffic. Then he thought it was fear of missing his speaking engagement, thus letting down the organization and the event planner. None of these thoughts deleted his anxiety. If the issue is not resolved, there is no truth in the statements. Those were not the thoughts that were truly troubling him.

So, I pulled out the metaphorical utility knife. It sounded like a trigger issue to me. I asked John if he could remember a time when he was punished for being late or for letting someone down. Of course he could. I would imagine that most of us could. A trigger to being punished was the truth that caused his anxiety at that moment. The entire Marine Corps culture in which he had spent 26 years was rooted in being “on time on target”. If he was not on time, Marines could die. We plucked the thought of punishment out of his mind with the metaphorical pliers. Identifying the truth resolved the problem. We cut the cord to his punishment trigger with the metaphorical utility knife. That trigger is now gone forever. Then John was free to handle only the moment at hand. We used the metaphorical hammer to hammer in the thought framework for success. John’s level was in balance again. We called the event planner and explained that we would arrive just in time for John’s lecture.

Back on the highway, we made great time to North Carolina. John changed in the parking lot and arrived in the building just in time to be introduced on stage. He gave an entertaining and informative talk, leaving the audience wanting more. All was well, because we eliminated the punishment trigger and re-balanced his level enabling him to have calm and clarity for his performance.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Nine-Minute Miracle Challenge - Receiving Your Prosperity-Filled Perfect 10 in Relationships, Money, Career, Purpose, Fitness and Health

By Julie Marie Rahm

Are you taking the Nine-Minute Miracle Challenge at and creating miracles in your life? If so, you started by identifying your level of prosperity in the six areas of your life listed below.

1. Relationships
2. Money
3. Career
4. Purpose
5. Fitness
6. Health

Then, you defined what a prosperity-filled “perfect 10” is for you in each category. If you had difficulty deciding what a “10” looks like to you, use your metaphorical plumb bob. Your plumb bob keeps you centered and points to the heart of the matter. Here’s how.

For each category:
First, use your plumb bob to point to what you cannot live without.
Next, let your plumb bob point to what you would like to have, even if you do not think you deserve it. If you can only think of what you do not want, let your plumb bob point to what you do want.
Finally, let your plumb bob point to the answer to this question: Wouldn’t it be cool if…?

By using your metaphorical plumb bob, you can get clarity on what a prosperity-filled “perfect 10” is for you in your relationships, money, career, purpose, fitness and health. Why are your clear definitions important? Because your answers are ideas. Ideas are thought seeds that will grow into physical reality. How? Because your thoughts determine the way you feel. The way you feel influences the way you act. Your actions create the results you manifest. Your miracles are on their way!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

From Answers to Actions - Intuition is the Key

By Julie Marie Rahm

So many answers. So much confusion. So little action. Having too many answers can be worse than having no answer at all. Two weeks ago I blogged about how to handle too many answers. Now that you have the one answer, let’s talk about taking action.

You have taken your metaphorical utility knife and cut away the conflicting advice and opinions of others, “gone with your gut” and connected with the answer to your dilemma. The trick now is to apply the answer in the most beneficial way. Starting with the right answer in general, the next step is to make it the right answer for your specific situation. For this you need your intuition. Your intuition will reveal the best action that corresponds to your answer. Perhaps you do not trust your intuition any more. You may think it has led you astray in the past. If that is how you feel, there is a good chance you have confused emotions with intuition. To ensure you are feeling your intuition, get your emotions out of the way. The tools you need are your metaphorical level and pliers.

First, use your metaphorical level to check your mood. Is the level showing your mood in balance or is your level tilting from negative emotions? If your mood is not balanced, identify the emotions you are feeling at that moment. Check yourself for rage, anger, anxiety, stress, tension, frustration, confusion, jealousy, resentment, revenge, guilt, grief, sadness, sorrow, depression, pain, anguish, despair, humiliation, embarrassment, shame, disgust, distrust, and un-forgiveness.

Next, once you have identified every negative emotion you are feeling, use your metaphorical pliers to pluck out each negative emotion one by one. Only then will you be free from the fog of emotions and able to feel what your “gut” intuition is truly telling you. Turn off your thinking and feel your intuition. How is the answer best applied for you? The sensation may feel like being blind and yet moving freely through your home because you know where all of the furniture is. Developing your intuition is the key to effectively responding to everything life hands to you. Intuition is a mental skill. With practice you can master your intuition and convert answers to actions. Start now. Call me for a free 15-minute consultation.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Overwhelmed by Problems? Read on and Feel Better

By Julie Marie Rahm

In my last blog entry I mentioned a client who feels like he is in quicksand, overwhelmed by life’s challenges. If your metaphorical level is tilting from being overwhelmed by problems, read on to find out what to do about it.

Step one: Write down every problem you have. List them all. If you want to call them by a gentler term like “issues” or “challenges” feel free. Sometimes they really just feel like problems. If that’s the case refer to them accordingly. You can work your way up to better-feeling nouns. In the process, understand that you are not your problems. And, you can handle them. "Life is what happens while we're making other plans." (John Lennon)

Step two: Read each problem and decide if it is really your responsibility to solve. For instance, are you giving your adult kids money to pay their mortgages with no end in sight? Is that your responsibility, or are you depriving them of an experience the universe is providing to prepare them for something in the future?

Step three: Take out your metaphorical plumb bob and let it point to the heart of the matter. Identify which problem is the most important one to tackle first.

Step four: Use your metaphorical utility knife to cut your thought connection to the other problems on your list. Relieve yourself of the thought burden and confusion they create. Set the remaining problems aside so you can come back to them once the first problem is solved.

Step five: Use the Plumb Bob Priority Quiz below to prioritize issues in solving the problem.

Answer the question: What is the end result you can’t live without?

Get to the heart of the matter and determine your priorities by answering these questions.

1. Is there a physical safety risk?

2. Is there a financial safety risk?

3. Is there a relationship risk?

4. Is there an emotional/mental/spiritual risk?

5. Is there an integrity risk?

6. Is there a values risk?

Repeat this process until your problems are solved.

Whatever legal, moral and ethical path you take in problem-solving, know that no path is right or wrong. Each path simply provides different experiences. Some experiences feel better than others. You can handle it.

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Answer You Need When You Need It

By Julie Marie Rahm

Are more people living lives of “quiet desperation” today, or are more people who are living such lives finding me? My male clients have been particularly metaphorical lately. One describes his state of mind as if he is clutching the stick of a fighter jet with all his strength and placing his entire focus on ensuring the plane does not spin out of control. Another says he feels like he is in quicksand, falling in more deeply with every move.

For both men and for many of my clients, confusion is the predominant cause of such thoughts. Our world presents us with too many answers, too many possibilities, too many judgments, and too many unknowns. People want their lives to be different. They want better relationships, better jobs, better finances, better fitness, better health – more overall prosperity. They want to know where their unhappiness comes from. But how?

This is a job for their metaphorical “plumb bobs”. Their “plumb bobs” keep them centered by pointing to the heart of the matter, to what is most important, to the answer. The first cause of confusion is too much advice. (Yes, I realize the irony here.) Conflicting advice is everywhere. The first step they need to take is to turn off the advice and tune into their hearts and values. Are they aligned with their “plumb bobs” that point to them being true to themselves? Or are they being true to something or someone else? Whose opinion matters most? That is the first place to make an adjustment.

The second biggest cause of confusion is their life purpose. Often people are confused about whether their lives, their work, their sacrifices have even mattered. Their “plumb bobs” point to a resounding yes. People do the most good when they have no idea they have done it. In difficult times, people need to be kind to themselves knowing they have done the best they could with the knowledge, skills and abilities they had at the time. And, if they did not do their best, they need to forgive themselves and move ahead smartly now. It is never too late.

Planning for the future is the third source of confusion. People know they want a certain lifestyle and do not know how to ensure they have it. In that case their “plumb bobs” point to what they cannot live without. The rest is gravy.

Confusion stifles action. Action creates results. Having too many answers is worse than having no answers at all. During times of confusion your “plumb bob” is your handle out of the quicksand. Climb out and get back into action with confidence.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Is Life a Series of Random Events or a Purposeful Dance?

By Julie Marie Rahm

Do you ever have those days when it seems everyone in the world is just trying to block your progress and tick you off? My husband, John, has had several days like that over the past few months centered around attempting to title a Pennsylvania truck in North Carolina. The truck belonged to his father who died last August. His father had lung cancer for almost three years. Near the end of his life when he could no longer drive, he signed the title and sent it to John. Later, John signed the title and had his signature notarized. And then he went to the NC License Plate Agency.

At the Agency, the woman behind the desk asked him if the sale was from a family member. John informed her that it belonged to his father who died. She coldly responded that he needed paperwork from the estate attorney that said he should have the truck. Frustrated, John returned home.

A few weeks passed. Paperwork and title in hand, John returned to the NC License Plate Agency. This time the paperwork was in order, but John’s Florida driver’s license precluded him from registering the truck. The same woman informed him in her same cold manner that the truck could only be registered to someone with a NC driver’s license. Just to ensure that was always true, John went to the Agency in another city. Yes, it was true. The state of Florida allows people to renew their driver’s licenses online, a much easier process than in NC. John had a Florida license throughout his 26-year Marine Corps career and did not want to relinquish it.

I just renewed my NC driver’s license in April, so I was able to advise John that he would save a lot of time if he made an appointment. No one at the Department of Motor Vehicles office would have volunteered the information that appointments are possible, as I witnessed firsthand while I waited my turn. The next available appointment was three weeks in the future. Although he had asked questions of the person who made the appointment for him, he did not think to ask everything, and she did not volunteer the information. John needed to show his Social Security Card to get his license. He had everything but that with him. Although his military identification card has his social security number on it, that was not good enough. Since then, he has also learned that to prove he lives in NC he needs to bring a utility bill or something with his address on it. That’s where we are today. No truck registration. No driver’s license.

Throughout the process, John has had a number of great opportunities to be angry if he were looking for a reason to be. Not one of the government employees he spoke with volunteered anything to help him. In fact, they appeared to be void of compassion.

Remembering his metaphorical level, John has maintained his mental and emotional balance by looking at life as purposeful vs. random. On one side of the level life is a series of random events. On the other side of the level life a purposeful dance of events that teach lessons and cause personal growth. If John focused on life being random, his level would tilt and he would likely be angry about the treatment he received. Instead, John focused on the title and license exercises as a well-orchestrated ballet between himself and the government employees choreographed to teach him patience. Consequently, he harbors no anger, no resentment. No one wronged him. No one needs to apologize. No one needs forgiveness.

Patience does not come easily to John. It may be a lesson he is on earth to learn. If that is the case, he will have more opportunities to “dance” until he learns the lesson.

What verbal or written exchanges have you had with people lately that left you feeling wronged? Is it possible that those exchanges were really opportunities to learn an important lesson? Is there a “dance” that continually presents itself in your life? Check your metaphorical level. Is it tilting with thoughts that life is merely a series of random events? If so, try changing your focus. Use your metaphorical hammer and hammer out bad-feeling thoughts one at a time. Then, hammer in thoughts you believe and that feel better. If you feel enraged, find another thought you believe that brings you up to mere anger. Are you angry? Find another thought you believe that brings you up to blame. Hammer in one thought at a time and climb the emotional ladder until you feel a glimmer of hope again.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Regarding Moms

It’s Mothers’ Day, a day to celebrate and thank our moms for who they are and all they do. I’m glad someone thought up the holiday. At least once every 365 days moms can count on a word of appreciation. Often for the other 364 days we just expect moms to do what they do. After all, they are the moms - an all volunteer service.

Thank goodness moms have mastered motivating themselves. They know they are the “unknown architects” behind their husbands and children, creating a family and a household that is the best it can be. They know that raising children to be educated, good citizens is the most important job in the world. In fact, it ensures a brighter future for the world.

Most people talk about looking for another job when faced with bosses who expect them to do their jobs and other duties as assigned, void of appreciation or recognition. Another job in which their bosses will notice their sacrifices, efforts and creativity. In fact, many of my clients come to me in a career crisis, because they feel so undervalued. Moms, we appreciate you not changing jobs!

The question is do we crave words of affirmation because we have not discovered the real meaning in our work? Can knowing our daily lives have purpose and meaning balance the need for appreciation and recognition? Here is yet another application of our metaphorical levels – the balance between purpose and appreciation. Whatever we are doing at the moment is our purpose, and the world evolves best when we do our best. Whether I am washing the dishes, weeding the yard, or speaking to hundreds of people I am living my purpose. Each task has value even if only to me. Moms intuitively know this and that is why they continually execute their daily routines with competence and grace despite an appreciation deficit.

So here’s to moms. They bring us into this world and raise us to live in it. They persevere, sacrificing their needs for ours. And for one day each year, we honor and celebrate them. Congratulations, moms, on jobs well done!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Secret to Unlimited Power

By Julie Marie Rahm

This weekend I had the delightful experience of watching the movie Kung Fu Panda. The secret to unlimited power was revealed. The secret is there is no secret. What makes someone special is simply the belief that they are special. All we have is ourselves, our belief in ourselves, and others’ belief in us.

In the movie, Po the Panda was named the Dragon Warrior, the greatest warrior China would ever see. He had dreamed about being the Dragon Warrior, “blinding his foes with his sheer awesomeness”. In reality, he saw himself as an overweight panda that was unskilled in Kung Fu. Po’s metaphorical level tilted with negative thoughts from inside himself and from the mean words of the Furious Five as they told him he could never be the Dragon Warrior. It was Po’s father who helped him hammer out the negative thoughts by revealing the secret to his Secret Ingredient Soup. There was no secret ingredient. The soup was special because people believed it was special. With those words, Po hammered in the framework for success. He simply had to believe he could be Dragon Warrior and his actions and results followed, manifesting in his defeat of the evil Tai Lung and peace in the valley.

If you keep a list of inspirational movies, add Kung Fu Panda to the list. It’s terrific!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Mastering Your Money Mindset

By Julie Marie Rahm

Today I’m going to blog about four metaphorical tools you need to master your money mindset and accelerate toward abundance. Mastering your money and mastering your mindset go hand in hand. Why? Because what you focus on grows. When you put a lot of thought energy behind something, you get more of it. How can you tell if you’re directing your thought energy toward abundance?

You need the first tool for today – your metaphorical level. Your level has two functions. The first function is to monitor your mood. You know you’re directing your thought energy toward abundance when your mood is in balance and you feel good. When you begin to feel bad, your level tilts, indicating your thoughts are taking you away from abundance.

Often, it’s something small that tilts our levels – someone cuts us off in traffic or someone drives too slowly in front of us; someone puts the empty cereal box back in the cupboard… So you can use your metaphorical level to monitor your mood and indicate when you need a mindset tune-up to accelerate back toward abundance.

The second function of your level is to indicate on which side of something you’re focused - the lack of it or the abundance of it, because there are two sides to everything. Did you know that fear and greed drive 95% of decisions people make about buying and selling investments like stocks and real estate? Both fear and greed focus on lack. Fear, because we think we’ll lose money if we don’t make a move one way or the other. Greed, because we think we might miss out on having more profit. Since what you focus on grows, focusing on lack brings more lack. Focusing on abundance brings more abundance.

How about noticing something you’d like to have? If I say “I would like to have a shiny new red corvette.” Is that focusing on lack or abundance? Lack, because I am noticing that I do not have something I want.

As an investor, when you focus on abundance, you have good vision for what could be. You see the possibilities. So, you make good risk management decisions and you maximize your investment potential. Even in the worst economic times, someone made money, and often a lot of money! If you have a wealth manager advising you, make sure that person has an abundance mindset. When you join in that mindset, the sky is the limit, because you are not limiting yourself to what have traditionally been good investments.

So your level is tilting. What do you do? You bring out the second tool, your metaphorical hammer, and use it to hammer out negative or lack thoughts, and hammer in the framework for abundance one thought at a time. One thought at a time is critical. If you feel rage, the leap to bliss is ginormous. It is important to believe the thoughts you “hammer in”. So if you feel rage, find a thought that moves you up to mere anger. Then find a thought that moves you to blame. Work your way up to a glimmer of hope again one believable thought at a time.

Let’s continue with the red corvette example. I will hammer out the lack thought of noticing I want a red corvette that I do not have. And I will hammer in the framework for abundance with the thought that I could buy a red corvette today, I’m just choosing to spend my money on something else.

If you really want to have some fun developing an abundance mindset for money, put a $100 bill in your pocket and mentally spend it all day as you move from store to store or on the Internet. By doing that your thinking changes from “I’d like to have that, but I can’t afford it, or it’s too frivolous” to “I could buy that, because I have $100 in my pocket”.

Let’s go back to the level again. Maybe something happens and your level tilts suddenly and dramatically. When we have a disproportional response to something that happens, it is usually because the event triggered a lifetime of negative thoughts and emotions. And, those thoughts and emotions usually are not directly related to the event at hand, but something on the periphery of it. When that happens, you need your metaphorical plumb line to point to the heart of the matter and get to the truth about the experiences and memories that are really troubling you.

Like my client in California who started getting excruciating headaches when he was laid off just before he could refinance his $600,000 mortgage, the rate for which adjusted from 3% to 7%. He went into a tailspin thinking that in addition to his financial woes, he had a brain tumor and was probably going to die just like his grandfather did. The metaphorical plumb line pointed to a cash flow problem, not a health problem. When he found another job, his headaches went away.
Then, you need the fourth tool, your metaphorical utility knife, to instantly cut the tie to the cumulative effects of those negative experiences and memories so they are never triggered again. By neutralizing the cumulative effect of negative experiences and memories, you are free to deal only with the thoughts and emotions of the moment, which is a much easier task to master and you maintain your abundance mindset.

My friend needed to cut the tie to the cumulative effects of the experience and memory of his grandfather’s death.

So, now you know about four of the metaphorical tools you need in your “tool belts” to give yourself a mindset tune-up when you need it so you can accelerate to abundance.

The level – to monitor your mood and to indicate whether your focus is on lack or abundance

The hammer – to hammer out negative thoughts, and hammer in the framework for abundance one thought at a time

The plumb line – to get to the heart of the matter

The utility knife – to cut out the cumulative negative effects of your experiences and memories

I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me to discover the truth about what’s really causing your issues when they arise, and which metaphorical tool you need most to accelerate to abundance in every area of your life.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Your "Plumb Bob" Keeps You Centered in a Crisis Crunch

By Julie Rahm

How often do you feel stress, tension, and anxiety, because you have more tasks to do than you have time to do them? Almost all of my clients come to me with over-tasked lives. If everything goes smoothly and they estimated their task times to completion accurately, their days go well. But what happens when something changes? It’s all a matter of priorities.

If that sounds like your life, the metaphorical tool you need in your tool belt is your plumb bob. A plumb bob always points to the center of the earth. Your metaphorical plumb bob points to the heart of the matter and keeps you centered in a crisis crunch.

Imagine you’re a mom at home with young children. You have a babysitter booked later today, because today is your best friend’s baby shower and you are bringing the cupcakes. You have been focused on the shower for days, anticipating how much fun it will be and how great it will feel to have adult time with your friends. It’s still only 40-degrees outside and your heat pump is broken. The repairman assured you he would be at your home by 10AM. You agreed to watch your sister’s children at your house this morning while she runs errands. And, you have your usual responsibilities to fulfill keeping your house, grocery shopping, and caring for your children. Your three-year-old wakes up that morning and says, “Mommy, I don’t feel good”. You feel her forehead and know her temperature is high. What happens now? You make an appointment with the doctor. The only appointment time available is 10AM. You are no longer available to watch your sister’s children. The babysitter will not come, because your child is sick. You know how disappointed your best friend will be if you do not come to her shower. How do you prioritize your day so that you feel good when the day is done?

Take the Plumb Bob Priority Quiz.

Answer the question: What is the end result you can’t live without?

The end result you cannot live without is your child getting well.

Get to the heart of the matter and determine your priorities by answering these questions.

1. Is there a physical safety risk?

2. Is there a financial safety risk?

3. Is there a relationship risk?

4. Is there an emotional/mental/spiritual risk?

5. Is there an integrity risk?

6. Is there a values risk?

Is there a physical safety risk? Yes, your child is sick. And, it is cold outside and you have no heat.

Is there a financial safety risk? No, your income stream is not affected.

Is there a relationship risk? Yes, your sister is expecting you to watch her children, and your best friend is expecting you to come to her shower and bring cupcakes.

Is there an emotional/mental/spiritual risk? Yes, you really want to go to the shower. It is the first time in weeks you have planned anything for yourself. You feel disappointment, resentment, and a flood of negative emotions and thoughts wash over you.

Is there an integrity risk? Yes, you gave your word to your sister and your best friend.

Is there a values risk? Only you know your values hierarchy. If “family” is at the top of your list and you put your child’s needs first, then the answer is no.

Once you identify your priorities, use your metaphorical utility knife to release the remaining tasks and relieve yourself of the burden of getting them done. Some possibilities for releasing the burden are:

1. Ask someone else to do it for you.

2. Break it down into smaller tasks and allow more time.

3. Do it on another day.

4. Don’t do it at all.

What does that look like? Reschedule the heat pump repairman, who is willing to rearrange appointments and come to your home at the end of the day. Take your child to the doctor. Offer to watch your sister’s children on another day. Call a friend who is also invited to the shower. Ask her to stop at your house to pick up the cupcakes and take them for you. Call your best friend, explain that your child is sick, and agree to celebrate together over lunch on another day. Use your metaphorical utility knife to cut out thoughts of missing out by not being at the shower.

So when you find yourself in a “crisis crunch”, use your metaphorical plumb bob to keep yourself centered and prioritize for prosperity.

Monday, April 5, 2010

You Think It's the Big Stuff. It's Really the Small Stuff that Keeps You Stuck

You think it’s the big stuff. It’s really the small stuff that keeps you stuck. Maybe it’s your 1980s wallpaper, or weeds in your lawn, or a spot on your carpeting. Maybe it’s your daily commute. Maybe it’s being responsible for the same chores, week after week. Maybe it’s your daily routine. The seemingly inconsequential things in your day can bring you down, affecting your entire day without you even realizing it. Negative thoughts and emotions build around the small stuff. Day after day, the effects of these minor moments accumulate until you’re just plain angry, resentful, hopeless, and depressed. Today is the day to take back your joy! All you need are three metaphorical tools in your tool belt and the willingness to use them.

The first tool is your metaphorical level. Use your level to indicate when your thoughts and emotions begin to tilt your mood toward negative and away from steadiness. Pay close attention to your level throughout the day. When the level tilts, stop and identify the cause – and don’t assume it’s the big stuff.

The second tool you need is your metaphorical utility knife. Once you determine the cause of your level tilting, cut the cord to all of the past times your level has slipped toward negative for the same reason. Cutting the cord relieves you of the cumulative effects of past experiences and memories, emotions, thoughts, and fears around the cause.

The third tool is your metaphorical hammer. Use it to hammer out your current negative thoughts and emotions around what caused your level to tilt. Then, hammer in the framework of positive thoughts and emotions that will bring back your joy.

Perhaps it would help to remember that your purpose is whatever you’re doing at the moment. If you’re washing dishes or taking out the trash, that is your purpose. Those chores are not things to rush through so you can get back to your real purpose. Do your best work. And, if it’s your house, car, yard, or other possession that tilts your level, look on it from a new perspective of awe and reverence. What maintenance does it need from you today? Now we’re getting into priorities. Next week, I will share with you how to use your metaphorical plumb bob to keep you centered in a crisis crunch and prioritize for prosperity.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Negative Emotions are Like Ghost Poop

By Julie Marie Rahm

Yesterday the UPS man delivered a box containing some fragile merchandise I ordered online. Excitedly, I cut through the tape and opened the box. When I did, Styrofoam pellets, fondly referred to in this house as “ghost poop”, flew everywhere! Static electricity caused them to cover my arms and chest. As I tried to remove them, pieces broke off and clung to the backs of my hands and fingers. I pushed the hair back from my face only to discover I now had ghost poop pieces in my hair and eyebrows! Frustration mounting, I called out to my husband for help. The sight of me covered from head to toe with tiny white ghost poop particles made him burst into laughter. Soon we were both laughing at how ridiculous I looked. I asked him to please help me remove the debris. As he did, the tiny white ghost poop particles clung to him! His fingers, hands, arms and chest were speckled white like mine. With both of us looking ridiculous, hilarity ensued. Finally, I grabbed a dryer sheet to combat the static electricity and rid our hair and bodies of foam pieces.

As we put the last piece of foam into a trash bag, my husband commented that negative emotions are like ghost poop. What a terrific analogy! When negative emotions come over us, they start as one minor issue and then grow and split as they trigger all of the past times we felt the same emotions. They cover us from head to toe as we wear them in our attitude and demeanor. If someone is unlucky enough to come close to us, we get our negative emotions all over them through our words and voice tone. We say something cruel or sarcastic and send that person reeling. If they are not equipped with the tools to withstand our verbal barbs, they could carry our words around rehashing them for days, months, and even years. They could keep wondering why we were mean to them without provocation, and trust breaks down.

Having the metaphorical tools in our tool belts to stop negative emotions before they become triggers is a key to self mastery. With your metaphorical utility knife and hammer, you can cut ties to the past and hammer out the negative emotion of the moment. Then, you can hammer in the framework of positive thoughts that will get you back on track to prosperity!
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